D3 body, D1 cock
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
