remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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