I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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