I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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