I need to stop coming to work sober
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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