dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
