It's like God shit irony all over that family
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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