I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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