Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
