chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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