SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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