and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
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The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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