if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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