you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
