Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Enjoy the penises
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
