Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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