Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
