$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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