Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
