And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
