I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
