I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize