No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
