I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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