now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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