is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize