I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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