Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
