i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
