I cannot find my penis.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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