so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
