he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
