we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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