Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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