She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize