guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
