Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
