just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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