You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
