I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
