He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
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I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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