are you so shy because you have an std?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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