Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
