dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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