I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
