I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
