last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
