nut hugger
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
