thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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