every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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