Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
