I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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