Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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