OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
