What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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